I have had only great experiences with the 50+ plants purchased from BWH. They were all beautiful and healthy plants that arrived in perfect condition, though it was the gift that left the biggest impression.
I really appreciated the gnome pin included in my order—though I had no idea at the time how that tiny gift would upend my life.
The first time I wore it, I kept hearing soft whispers everywhere I went. When I got home, the truth revealed itself: the whispers came from the neighborhood garden gnomes. They believed the pin was a divine signal from the Great Gnome in the Sky, instructing them to follow the wearer wherever he may roam. Thankfully, “wherever” turned out to be just around the corner—to my house—where the sacred pin now lived.
So overnight, in addition to my dog and 500 plants, I found myself hosting a small but enthusiastic gnome colony. For the first few months, things were surprisingly smooth. They ate mealybugs, polished plant leaves by sliding down them like miniature playgrounds, and told me stories of the gnomes who made it big—Naomi Watts and Naomi Campbell among them, both of whom changed their names to disguise their gnomey origins. More recently, the gnomes struggled with the idea that one of them, Kristi Gnome, would go into politics and become the US Secretary of Homeland Security:
They also shared their true history. For centuries, humans called them “goddamn gnomes” because of their mischievous tendencies. But in the 11th century, a monk named…
